What Does It Mean To Be An Introvert?

The term "introvert" gets tossed around quite a lot these days, and the sad thing is that people are using this term incorrectly, to explain why they, or someone else, are shy, snobby, awkward, anxious, or even antisocial. It grinds my gears when people interchange 'antisocial' and 'introvert', thinking that they mean the same thing: that you don't like spending time with people. WRONG. That kind of thinking is way too narrow and puts us in a bad light.

I've been called so many things, though I'm sure they meant well, by people I know. There is no end to the list of words I've been dubbed with, such as 'snobbish', 'boring', 'shy', 'socially awkward', 'antisocial', 'lonely', 'rude', 'anti-social', or even 'weird'. I've even been told that I spend too much time at home, that I need to get out more and meet new people, or even unusual for never having gone out nightclubbing. And when I try to explain what being an introvert means, they automatically link it to snobbishness or anti-socialism. Look, you can be introverted and a snob or introverted and shy, or even introverted and anti-social, but they are not interchangeable for one another. Do not wear it as a label for anxiety while you're alone, because introverts are the very opposite. We love being alone and are more likely to feel anxious in social situations than not.

The definition of 'introvert' is quite specific. It means that introverts gain energy through solitude, and become exhausted when surrounded by one or more people. We like our solitude much more than you think.

Anti-socialism is another thing entirely. In fact, antisocial people don't conform to the laws and customs of society, and they participate in activities that may be considered annoying, weird, or rude. See the difference?

I am not weird, annoying or rude. I am not shunning your friendship or company because you in particular exhaust me, it is exhausting trying to keep up. I like spending time with people, but only in small doses. I can be super affectionate with people I am close with, but please don't step into my personal space if I don't know you that well. Gatherings make me uncomfortable and close in on myself, and I always feel like my time could have been better spent at home in quiet bliss.

Are you an introvert? What do you do when people incorrectly mislabel you as something else?


  1. I'm definitely an introvert but I'm also shy and socially anxious. I don't really mind what people call me, I usually call myself awkward just to ease the tension haha because I am and I have a nervous laugh. It bugs me when people don't bother to try to get to know me better and just say I'm rude or uptight. Both of which I'm definitely not! (I hope!)

    Sally - DiagonSally

    1. Sometimes I call myself awkward too, but I wish people understand the true definition of introvert, and this way they can then understand why I am the way I am, instead of trying to force me to do stuff I'm not comfortable with. Uptight is another one I've encountered!

  2. I'm definitely an introvert. It used to be something I was ashamed of being especially when I first started uni. A lot of people though I was incredibly shy or just stuck up. It's cool now though.

    1. I know what you mean, at the start of my course I had trouble making friends as it seemed like everyone knew each other. By graduation I had some great friends and still see them every now and then :) being an introvert does make it difficult to interact with people :(

  3. Oh yes, I am 100% introvert and I know how it is to called so many things.
    Boring, asocial shy and more, it's annoying. I can't stand be around too many people, it's too much for me.
    It's extra hard to keep friends, since I don't get out much and I rather want to be home.

    I have some diagnoses, there doesn't makes it any easier to be around people...

    There is still people there call be boring and stuff, but I do hope that one day people will understand us introverts...

    Thank you so much for this post! :)


    1. It's very annoying being called names that are so far off the mark. Luckily my close friends are starting to understand that.

      There should be a club for us introverts so that we can just meet up, trade a few words and then sit in companiable silence for the rest of the day 😆